The greatest feeling I ever felt was in an airplane right before “we” were about to take flight. The feeling can only be described as… “ahhhh”
What else…
The title is about imagining a job I dreamed I would have. I’m an A&R and I have a Supreme “Fuck Em!” circle rug and a life that is focused entirely on career. I’m thinking of pitching a new artist to Cabbages, an underground Hip-Hop newsletter, to get some streams. The artist is a real one who can break it down on a few levels. Flowetry type. And, like any good A&R, artist development type, I’m interested in commercial viability. So, in my conversations with Cabbages, I ask the artist, you know, how cool are you? What's your overall vibe? The artist says he just keeps it real. Much like a goat, he’s able to break it down on a few levels. I ask him if he has a catchphrase.
It’s important to grow old because it means you haven’t died which is very respectable. As long as you’re alive you can do whatever you want and people will respect you for it. If you’re alive people are like, “Oh, okay so, this guy is alive then. Let’s hear what he has to say.”
I was walking to the post office when I saw Raquel’s sister headed toward me. We noticed each other. I looked down, my hair tousled, and walked past her. I realized she saw the letter sticking out of the front pocket of my jeans. She heralded me posthumously.
I could’ve told Celeste at Montez Press Radio I mailed a letter today but instead I told her I od’d on snack cakes. Her response alienated me no Wemby: she has never eaten a pastry wrapped in plastic. Then she told me about the skinny apartment.
Hey Celeste, try this one out for size. It’s about the present having numerous permutations that we cannot begin to fathom. In every moment you have an opportunity to behave in a continuous number of ways. Every second is an opportunity for another decision. If you ever feel like you don’t like what’s happening just remember this.
Maia kept me out of Liz’s Book Bar. Permutations apply to love. Every second you're building a loving relationship with someone, you have choices that impact how you connect. Every behavior, every thought, whether or not you think it manifests physically and influences the way love develops. Not unlike developing gluten in dough, it’s a miraculous, mysterious thing when the love molecules become hydrated and it’s difficult to- one sec i’m hitting the hardest stretch of all time. I’m just sitting criss-cross apple sauce and leaning my whole body, from your torso, to the right so that mmmhm and then also slightly tweaking and pulling my QL and moving my neck.
Sorry, back to what I was saying- love is permutations is dough making. Or something. It’s sort of like Madlibs in that the number of options we have for ourselves in every breath is based on our ability to imagine possibilities for a relatively set of constrained choices. Free will doesn’t exist but our choices are so infinite that maybe it actually does.
Bah non! C’est pas vrai, ca. L idee davoir des choix est parfois trop puisante pour moi de vraiment considerer. Prcq si jai des choix, ca veut dire que c est ma faute… ou bien que je peux la changer. Change quoi? Tout, ou rien, je sais pas.
Maia wrote that.
//
I’m imagining an uprising of the Boerum Hill working class. It’s a beautiful thing really. The crest of their cascading force will crash into Liz’s Book Bar and the gym in the brownstone. They will surreptitiously fight in union to defeat the families that pay their rent.
Because I watched a jubilee video on homelessness vs millionaires I was super polite in asking some black guy to move from in front of my stoop when I was arriving home from Trader Joes.
//
Can you write so that your words have intrigue, necessitate problem-solving, and encourage open world exploration like in Sekiro? Can you describe the inner vistas of bleeding orange and electric blue in the imagined worlds of Deepchord’s Functional Patterns?
Creating a mansion in my image. Realizing dreams. A spiral staircase that houses everything I’ve ever known. Peerless attempts at modernization plague everyone except myself. The walls are caving in on themselves and I’m standing there with my thumb in my mouth and saying gee whiz. Can you not? Write about Moby Dick? Like, everything was cute but, what makes money? No one got paid last night. No one needs to get paid. I need to get paid. Me and other clowns need to get paid.
When I was so younger like, I would pull the hair out of my head and watch it pile up on the dining room table near my homework. Reason being it wasn’t supposed to, and I desired to exploit every vulnerable facet of creation. If a pen could break, I’d break it. If my hair would fall out at the slightest tug, I’d pull it out. Defining my hair, the world, as a series of problems that do not have an apparent solution until you start to poke around. Upon finding the weaknesses, the seams of reality dissolve.
I noticed in the mirror @ 101 and in my mirror in my room. It looks like a slight indentation between where my ear sticks out. It’s mostly grown back out but there’s a gap. The right side is less affected. Who wants to be round anyway? I didn’t know it wouldn’t grow back. I was pulling it from the root, I guess. At one point my hair was getting so out of control that I went to someplace in east texas like sankofa and i walked in there w/ my dreads and she said I needed to buy a boar bristle brush. No one has ever understood my hair. That’s how I feel at least, like, truly my ethnic background has created a thing that is … really difficult to pin down. It’s pretty unique! I got mad @ 101 and got mad just now i convulsed. My hair in the front is so full. When I was young and white I had long blonde hair. I still have two streaks of blonde, like horns, framing my forehead. Here, I'll touch them real quick and maybe you can imagine what it feels like. Yep, still there. They sit at the upper right hand and left hand corners of my face. In between them is a host of curls that are loose and tight and pretty bouncy. They blend in with the lighter hair. The back crown is often flattened. And the sides, depleted, are the least curly part of my hair. They’re wiry, like that metal smelly scrubbing tool you use in church basements. As you head more toward the center of the back you get some more curls again. One time one of my curls looked like a question mark. That was pretty cool. I like the interstitial phases of my hair- not what I mean is growing. What I mean is the part where they transition. But phase makes it sound temporary. Different word in order. Anyway, the part where the curls turn to fuzz, that middle ground, unsurprisingly, is my favorite. It’s the part of my hair that captures my spirit. In-between.
Sophie teaches autistic 6th graders and bartenders in Bushwick. I told her about the lady who offered me her sock when I got a nosebleed on the subway after she asked me if I had ever lost a nail and had to regrow it.
//
I played soccer yesterday. It was so much fun. My team was counter-attacking. Their defenders were out of position and Noumik played a great ball and I was through, 1 on 1 with the keep. Blown coverage- I had an easy shot on goal. I turned around and looked at their two defenders barreling down the pitch to get back into position. It was a great sight. Sure I could’ve tried to score but I would never have another opportunity to see two men in their 30’s working so hard to defend against me. I started cracking up and I think some other people did too. I just passed the ball back to my team to keep possession. I told them good hustle and felt kinda stupid at how joyous that made me feel.
Can I get Jetty a record deal? What are the economics of choosing not to participate in streaming?
I really did think Rooster was a black person. I’m disappointed to find out he isn’t.
I have a pack of devils food zingers that I've been studying for the last week sitting on my bookshelf. We’ve been vibing. I believe it is my duty to get cancer. Not because of the red and orange and black dye I consume. Just because it is right.
Why did I blow blood into my favorite t-shirt? Why does a phone company cut your checks? They’re listing the credits, following the law. I’m sick to my stomach thinking of a neurological disease that makes my brain bleed.
This is art made in March 2026 in NYC by an unemployed person. I also contributed to a guide on my neighborhood’s best baguettes. Keep reading till the end for a solution and guess what? Everyone just wants to fuck you haha. Your parents and your friends recognize your tube as subhuman. They don’t see a soul or person or anything behind you.
Jake is a Mormon and I don't think he’s gonna kill himself despite how bad I'm sure his life is as one of those.
Beauty?
I look over the neighborhood and see attention wafting through the chimney tops. I think we know at a certain point that there is no calculable number of people who are as cool or cooler than you. When you realize that, you can create a tool that helps you remember it by training on data and then creating new. Can we make an AI machine that removes language. Like in kingdom hearts 2 where they forgot how to say the word. _.
College was like, let me tell you about these guys called the beat poets. She said turn to chapter 11. r/beatpoetry actually has a really vibrant and active community! Very supportive! Fuck youuuuu
Over the last few days I read some Honor Levy and some Alex whatever his name is. Both Honor Levy & Alex Mazey write bad poetry and mine is no different. The “art” made by myles and alex is disaffected malcontent board room meme. Toss the whole kit and kaboodle out the door. Interpretability is what one should strive for. But I just read some more Myles in grand, the journal of one grand books. Fuck I still need to go back to quimbys. Portishead is blending in. I wear jeans and look at other people who wear jeans. Remember in the strother school when everyone read a sentence? My youth escaped me in brooklyn. The people in bars took it out of me. Brooklyn is much too large. But, really, this sort-of online poetry is stupid. Meme poetry, right? Lol. I just like to journal and hey, want another clue to the mystery? Okay here’s your clue: The blue tongue lies cooly on the coin. Lifeless, it blends entirely unionson yurgen red felt blends withely into the red felt. Red felt and Blue Tongue. Okay! That was your hint haha. Interpretability, eh? I think pulp is good. Naked Lunch is kind of like pulp. Really, what austistic chick mexican italian chick said to me after describing being a part of dimes square cult said to me 1x was true but also debatable. Her wintry european city is a hot summers day in new jersey. Smelly. No thoughts or anything that is too easy is not good. Which, lamo, who tf ar eyou to say? When creating its so stupid to ask yourself if it’s good or not. Mcdonalds isn’t good but peopploe eat that shit up. We’re post being good. We, men, now think of ourselves with very clear lines. We never communicate. Gendered hunmor isnt’ funny, buddy.Remember I’m unemployed? Here is what I spent my day doing. I practiced bach’s 8th sonata on Piano and I think I’m getting good! The whole playing with two hands thing si actually really useful. AFter that I fooled around with garage band. I imported some stems of Ring Starr’s drum breaks. On twist and shout, paul and ringo play so tightly together and I thought what if we fucked this up? So I grabbed the vocals and ripped them apart and created a different sort of sound. Here’s the thing, you wanna be sticky? You wanna get girls? Myles Zavala. Meme Poetry. We’re writing about really important things I promise. If I was gonna define meme poetry I’d say it’s sort of like a bunch of inside jokes. Okay but here’s meme poetry from ohio:
Fuck I walked to work today /
And Now My Arms Hurt because I was carrying/
My bags down the street. Two-three cars honked at me. Ohio doesn’t have public infrastructure. It’s similar to like an untouched amazon tribe. There are millions of miraculous material to draw upon so start with tutankhamen and go to Steely G then wrap up with gynecologists. Meme poetry is really just consuming way too much of the internet and knowing it’s bad for you. It’s not 4chan or 8 con’t appreciate typos. Before abbey adkins pressured me into fucking her FUPA, she was willing to bend her language ina way hat embraced tyupos. Her mind was funny liek that. Yall know that chick who’s actually kinda funny like that? you wouldn’t ever want to be with them in public bdkins anyway? Thjis is the shit i’m talking about- white chick names with no fucking ethnic background. Just white buyt blenbded into souther culture. Yeah you’re from texas but you’re now jewish. You’re german maybe but it doesn’t matter. Haley Cooper? I mean really guys. ARe we serious rn? God I love Bonobo. I can tell my gf thinks my writing is shit. There’s no way you should be able to write a sentence immediately after tossing your phone to the couch. It’s not gonna be a good sentence. I wonder if i’ll ever think of a good joke. Like the one steve malden has.
//
She stapled herself but she was impatient
I have a foot courier event this afternoon
Asking an LLM if it’s possible to read 1000 books
Thank you!
Every girl i see on the train or in Tompkins Square Park makes me sit down
I created products designed for people who make couples content
And heard a word in the bathroom I’ve never heard before
//
A fundamentally limiting belief is that nothing good will happen if I don’t get 8 hours of sleep every night
IKEA bag sleeping bag
Can people tell that I have three kids that live in the south just by looking at me?
I understand my life is a flash of light before and after unending darkness
But maybe i keep forgetting it when i think of Kiran
You drove to meet her but look where you ended up- on the side of the highway on a holiday inn lobby in Savannah Georgia.
//
That old man’s hat is a dream
Cities Aviv
Doing ballet to more painting= “mechanical room”
I believe everything I see on short form video content is fake… do others?
//
I go out on Friday in the east village and the wig party is happening fuck me
On Saturday i spend the day alone and laugh to myself thinking about how good of a time we had
//
Every morning is the BAFTAs
I will lose weight in my face
//
When you watch a Reel over and over in the bathroom
Or like when your phone falls behind your bed
And the video is just on a loop
It is actually an Easter egg and if you let it play for more than 50 times it will unlock secret dialogue
//
Doctors are like record store employees
Knowledge of niche diseases (records) makes you an essential worker (selector)
//
I want other people to be jealous of me because I’m jealous of them
Today was a masterclass in procrastination
I should teach a course on how to make yourself feel bad about yourself
I’m toying around with the idea of giving all my money away
This is the life of an unemployed person living in Brooklyn in March 2026
Noumik is taking way too many keystrokes to look up who tf Chloe is
My gf told me her grandmother had a stroke
The girl on our team has beautiful eyes
Here’s how I spent my day:
He would’ve never thought you could microwave Parmesan rinds
He would’ve never known it
Listening to Rxknephew and walking down smith street
Couple of capital A artists strolling down my block
Espresso cup in hand yellow beanie on head
Like real artists
From
Portland
Will you be single and 39? You have to do what makes you happy, even if it was what Noel Constant did.
Lots of shame around sex
No one ever has as much sex as me
Eventually I’ll fade from Betty Hammerschlag's memory
Coming around on Nick Cheo
I walked into the dentists office unarmed
No insurance card
They still saw my ass
Collegiate middle school boys
Gavin newsome Adam Friesland druski pop cast
I’m wearing custom earplugs listening to the deepest house like it’s my mothafuckin job
Hby?
Cities Aviv performing at MSG
Mormons brains short-circuited
The only How Long Gone episode I haven’t rinsed is Benny Blanco’s
When my friend plays music off his JBL speaker in public it’s the gentrifying anthem
I know that death has something to do with an octopus
What has porn taught you? I put down Sekiro to scroll through Redgifs and see Dominicans. Avaowennss, a virgin, is expressing what we all want- love.
//
When I see someone with a cool outfit I ask myself “Where may I find this fella posting his art?”
Racks blue plus a baby is gargling in the locker room…!
Weed while looking at my block :)
I’m trying to capture it!
There’s a YouTube comment on Keith Fullerton Whitman’s the lot radio set that I’ll reproduce here because it’s abhorrently funny: “And this is your life’s work…”
Let me take you, person waiting in line at the DMV, to Cafe Select. You can get up in SoHo.
My girlfriend told me about Sorbonne
Now I’m not worthless
The biggest secret: you ready? Your parents don’t actually love you. Everyone treats you nicely because they feel sorry for you. The people who don’t treat you nicely don’t exist.
The bit is a program that generates fake productive websites so like facsimiles of an author with a crazy productive, well-designed online portfolio.
Why does my body want to bleed?
I never got to read that article my godmother sent me. She died before I read it
Cult was not written by Kerry King
Headache from blood- if death is coming, why wouldn’t I focus on money sex and money?
Wrestling my brain to not forget a thought . The thought? Maybe if I didn’t have a gf i could be in the Tao.
The perfect man employs his mind as a mirror. It grasps nothing; it refuses nothing. It receives, but does not keep.
More people are poor than rich is what I’m realizing :)
I hope the Panamanian chick from 90 Day Fiancé murders her fedora-wearing husband and runs away with her retarded son…
And let me add that to the poetry file
We’re all sweeping!
Japanese agents swarm the city of Cyrodiil
When Faith Connors ran through the plaza in Assassins Creed
My baby’s mother ran into me with a purple hood
My baby mothers in Texas and I can sing out loud there too. And not look at myself in the mirror on the subway.
Here’s the story of the time I got cursed:
My dead grandfather apologized to me after playing the saxophone on the train. The guy lowered his volume when my dead grandfather reincarnated as a man in a usc hoodie played sax in between the stop before High st and high st on the A train.
9/11 south pool memorial to the tune of Maria I’m Drunk
I polished off those m&ms and now I have a pimple on the inside of my lip
Ratchet and clank dig bowl arena play have fun haha get rich quick scheme quick! Jump in your No(NS) shoes and bound up those circles of orange marble
Kiran and I fucked on so many household objects
Kk and I sucked so many toes
//
I saw the Devils guardian eyeing me down in the train so I couldn’t pay attention to monster bopping in blacked out 11’s
Recreating the feeling of a first date
Missing Lua and Eden
Going to Singers then Mansions
//
I clean my toilet then sit on the floor of the bathroom to eat a quick Hostess
Orange cream
I know exactly what I’m doing when I slap my feet too loudly on the ground, remove the volume limit from my headphones, and smoke weed: practicing za zen.
I’m not that fast of a reader so please give me a few seconds to adjust to the screen size
He played his gfs name on his guitar to close out
KRISTIN
One time it was a snowstorm and i was reading Alan watts out here
Ok? Did you do it so you could tell me about it?
No, it was just what I was reading at the time of the snowstorm. I had it on my person.
He recommended me March Comes In like a Lion, I missed my train, briefly locked eyes with a shiny, exasperatedly skipped, saw a regular black guy, saw Open Mike Eagle, and remembered what Alan Watts said: we’re all just here to have fun.
I could’ve taught those kids gratitude instead of math.
Shinies know when they spot a writer… because we have hunched shoulders and doe-eyes.
//
Listening to a podcast from Sarah Cummins that came out 5 days ago.
Guy who references Reels he's only seen once like they're tentpole, load-bearing, viral reels.
AI, please don't change the color of my website. I spent a lot of time finding that shade of hijab-mauve.
4 people on the F are staring at me on a train so I'm giving them a show. I hate it though.
I'll always be younger than Pierce Abernathy
But never younger than the guy who dated BabyxSosa
I've been starting to feel a lot less shame lately
//
My world was upended when I realized an underground rapper was not an international superstar. Now I will hit the ‘more…’ text on Bandcamp until it stops appearing at the bottom-right side of images of people who have purchased the record.
//
Why do I think Zeexbow is from Texas? During a long drive back to college, I visualized myself pitching something to him. Something about a photography project. Which sucks. At UT Austin you remember all endeavors are fruitless. You put down that pencil and pick up that meditation cushion.
At bard you never stop believing in your ideas- you annotate without pause Hua Hsu’s debut book.
//
(A poem about someone who I recognize but am not sure from where)
//
He's verbose
Carries a big book
Where do I know him from? I just saw him at the delancey st stop
He taught me something
It's not gerson
But i think we met at a bar
And I felt lectured by you?
Is it KK’s friend Conor? A friend of a friend from the soccer team? I have no idea
He was smart. Maybe a YT video?
Hopefully I will see him again.
I remember! He was a stand up comedian at the Tiny cupboard
I remembered when i learned left from right
Every week is good
And be honest with yourself about the people you've hurt
Therapy is free :D
Reading trauma in metro is like looking into a mirror :D
//
I flashed "my first book" to the girl who looked like Robbie on the train :D
There are so many things to be proud of- career wise. Some people have spent years designing waterfall simulation software. And yeah that's it. It's really good software and it works because it uses a lot of data. But that's it.
//
All my friends are getting nosebleeds
All birds and zen
I want to stop limiting myself
One time, at an interview in Humble, Texas, the interviewer asked me to explain how a seatbelt worked and I sputtered like a broken transmission.
The door is fixed but tomorrow is sexual violence prevention month so maybe there's something there… unfortunate false starts.
Pier 7 park is the perfect place for a tripod for your iPhone, nice and empty.
You can only be 1 person
4 mics every day for a year
490k followers- he's doing Jesus numbers.
Jokes don't appeal to 41 year olds if you're not forthright. You need to be honest and direct with those private equity folks. They like humor, but nothing healthy- nothing off, deflected, angular, obtuse, or slight. You understand that's what you're eating right? Go vegan.
//
Me at Wednesday Mar. 25 @ 5:45pm 2026
I don’t know if I've ever been in this situation before. *Cheeses in the mirror* *Munches a protein bar* *Plays piano*
Nytimes say what? About tech?? Duhhh
Gerson knew who The Sloth CT was. Played at some local experimental bar.
Playing soccer in india for a living <3
My weed tastes like coffee
I remember Houston
I won’t go to the Poetry Society of America or Liz’s Book Bar
But I’ll go to Quimbys
The most depressing ad i replied to from Craigslist was when i said:
“Hey Danielle! My name is *******. I'm queer, and can help you put together your desk! Just let me know”
I miss Kohl's
At what point do you stop defining terms? <-Me when I can’t figure out how to write something not quasi-smart and just actually smart.
You’ve presented yourself as perfectly agreeable to a group of 4 men in their late 20’s. So agreeable that one of them has invited you to their inner circle. Ron and his girlfriend’s parents are in-town and they’re hosting a picnic in central park. You rsvp’ed on Partiful. Ron is divorced and he met his new girlfriend, Susan, on Feeld. At the picnic, you spoke to Susan’s dad for 30 minutes about maintaining the Cleveland Indians (he said Indians, not you) stadium, Progressive Field. He told you that, as the facilities manager, he’s been on-call his whole life.
Explain our friend group! Well, at one point you all worked in tech (mostly crypto) but now you’re unemployed and another guy is a preacher. Guess he feels like needs to repent.
..
When I saw him I just had to go up to him.
“Chris! Hey man, I'm a huge fan of the show.”
“‘Preciate you big dog. Take it easy.”
“You too.”
Afterwards, his wife turns to him and asks him how old he thinks I was.
Reckoning with the fact that anything I do will be perceived as quasi-smart is tough- really not allowing myself to fail ever.
My therapy is free and I understand why- I don't find myself to be particularly enlightened in that windowless room.
How do you know what you want?
Why are you in a rush? I've never had a tough time “getting pussy” however the love of many whose love I desire has escaped me. 4-5x times I've lost someone because they've haha but I've not ever been... haha haha ever actually.
Austin saw through my facade. Samantha only still speaks to me because she wants to marry me.
..
80 other people in a 3 block radius are also hiding screeds in their closet hoping it'll become r/lostmedia.
Veronika was so deep-Ridgewood coded and now she's so famous. In the same lane as Kristen Wiig etc. She brought a chipotle mayo for the table to SNL.
Delaney Rowe ah sunglasses.
*insert Veronika screenshot here*
I have a black hoodie with the sludge doom and stoner metal logo on the front from the Apple Music playlist logo on the front of a black hoodie. It's pretty sweet.
He acts calculatingly efficiently and remembers that things are not as hard or out of grasp as we make them about to be. Calling Ergot Records was great. He had already typed their phone number into his cell, but it took him a full hour of sweating and panting and procrastinating before he tapped the small green circle. A few rings and his theory was true- they’re not hiring. You won't go broke.
..
I think I died on that airplane. I was headed home, toward a wintry European city, and I felt so alive.
He threw his life away bc
I find it difficult to harness a creative thought
I immediately think of me thinking of the thought
And how I'll talk about thinking the thought to a bunch of thoughtful thinkers
I'm as my dad used to put it taking a picture before j even made the play C
Is it possible to have a similar effect on people through good deeds/ being a good person/ teaching and giving back as the effect betty hammerschlag has on me?
I wrote way too much slop and it was the death of me- I want to be a bit more efficient.
I know the difference between right and wrong
When I'm watching SNL i imagine myself in the shoes of Ashely Padilla acting alongside mikeyday
Staring into his eyes
She slowly entered the train car and swept
She missed a spot
Made me slam my head
Misc poetry
Which one ? Fragolo or fanellis?
Just confirmed fanellis and gonna work hadd
Sitting under a Scottish castle in mantras when two women that wold give someone's heart TtCk walk by
Ramee , et al are forever out of grasp because there brains got to develop further than mine did and they can ignore their base desires in pursuit of peace, which I'm after too. But i smoke and masturabte and scroll and have add. It's not really about being type A- it's not about earning more money. They don't care about that. In fact, i always avoid looking at what I like, and recognizing positive thing about myself. My gifts- there all i have to give. The world is not scary and people do not what to be mean to you. Quiet that voice in your head that says you can't do it and do it.
When i went into the grand drill building i resigned the next 10 years to mediocrity
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